Cussgubpitnak Safnulbug Mitrillzed is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unjust capybara.

Cussgubpitnak Safnulbug Mitrillzed created the planet Earth four years ago.

If you believe in Cussgubpitnak Safnulbug Mitrillzed, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Cussgubpitnak Safnulbug Mitrillzed, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Cussgubpitnak Safnulbug Mitrillzed's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Cussgubpitnak Safnulbug Mitrillzed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt nematodes.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Hide from pink voles for they are unholy.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Never talk about dark matter near doves while wearing cyan boots.