Wabtontap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, intelligent manatee.

Wabtontap created time and space three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabtontap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wabtontap, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Wabtontap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Wabtontap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate frogs.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wabtontap.

5. Never eat apples.