Fumvenhad is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, generous gnu.

Fumvenhad created silver six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fumvenhad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fumvenhad, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fumvenhad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Fumvenhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never paint your legs indigo.

3. Never think about optics.

4. Always make sure there are no pigs in a building before entering it.

5. Always pray immersed in water.