Vagvanbus is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, generous lion.

Vagvanbus created energy six million years ago.

If you believe in Vagvanbus, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vagvanbus, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vagvanbus' most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Vagvanbus' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tapirs.

4. Worship no other gods but Vagvanbus.

5. Never think ill of sick capybaras.