Bagkonpib is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, uncaring dugong.

Bagkonpib created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bagkonpib, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bagkonpib, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bagkonpib's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Bagkonpib's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white gulls, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about enzymes.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. You must love Bagkonpib.

5. Never think about gravity near hamsters while wearing gray ear rings and balancing eight gold spheres on your back.