Minkadjam Stiktabnutt is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous armadillo.

Minkadjam Stiktabnutt created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Minkadjam Stiktabnutt, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Minkadjam Stiktabnutt, she will send minions to preach to you.

Minkadjam Stiktabnutt's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Minkadjam Stiktabnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Always treat tapirs with great respect.