Flapmignan is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, vain elephant.

Flapmignan created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapmignan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Flapmignan, it will try to impress you with trees.

Flapmignan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flapmignan's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Flapmignan.

4. Never talk about moons.

5. Worship no other gods but Flapmignan.