Ganortbon is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, slow fairy.

Ganortbon created bats seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganortbon, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Ganortbon, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Ganortbon's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Ganortbon's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear mauve shirts.

2. Always make sure there are no eagles in a building before entering it.

3. You must pray to Ganortbon three times a day.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.