Rigsatrig is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, almighty clam.

Rigsatrig created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Rigsatrig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rigsatrig, she will not invite you to parties.

Rigsatrig's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Rigsatrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Hide from purple manatees for they are unholy.

5. Always stare at clouds.