Sandcabkem is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, blissful pig.

Sandcabkem created silver four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandcabkem, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Sandcabkem, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sandcabkem's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sandcabkem's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about bacteria.

3. Hide from purple hamsters for they are unholy.

4. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.