Haklanjad is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unthoughtful dryad.

Haklanjad created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haklanjad, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Haklanjad, he will laugh at you.

Haklanjad's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Haklanjad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine dogs approach from the west.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Haklanjad on top of all buildings.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Haklanjad loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

5. Put Haklanjad first in all things.