Gutsidhom is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish dingo.

Gutsidhom created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gutsidhom, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gutsidhom, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gutsidhom's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Gutsidhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never sprint in the presence of birds.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat green fruit.