Himfadjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, slow lobster.

Himfadjarn created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Himfadjarn, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Himfadjarn, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Himfadjarn's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Himfadjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never feed lots of apples to hamsters while wearing orange shirts.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never hurt snails.

5. Do not wear turquoise clothing.