Vadcibyik is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, cheerful coyote.

Vadcibyik created the cosmos eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadcibyik, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vadcibyik, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Vadcibyik's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Vadcibyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vadcibyik.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory.

5. Always wear turquoise.