Funflowfat is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthoughtful bee.

Funflowfat created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Funflowfat, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Funflowfat, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Funflowfat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Funflowfat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not take Funflowfat's name in vain.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.