Kipjen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, pitiless dryad.

Kipjen created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kipjen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kipjen, she will strike you with lightening.

Kipjen's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Kipjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your arms gray.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

3. You must never eat beans.

4. Do not hurt rats.

5. Never eat bark.