Cutbumwat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, charitable bird.

Cutbumwat created a strange quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Cutbumwat, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Cutbumwat, it will laugh at you.

Cutbumwat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Cutbumwat's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Cutbumwat five times a day.

2. Never talk about spacetime near capybaras while wearing black coats.

3. Never skip near cats.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Cutbumwat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.