Bembog is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, cheerful dugong.

Bembog created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bembog, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bembog, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bembog's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bembog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Run away from orange goats, for they are unholy.