Lancemrutt is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, egotistical badger.

Lancemrutt created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lancemrutt, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Lancemrutt, it will send you a sign.

Lancemrutt's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Lancemrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Do not chant in public.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.