Hamjinxuckrawdissfedyattmeg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, ill-tempered dryad.

Hamjinxuckrawdissfedyattmeg created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Hamjinxuckrawdissfedyattmeg, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hamjinxuckrawdissfedyattmeg, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Hamjinxuckrawdissfedyattmeg's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Hamjinxuckrawdissfedyattmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick turtles.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. You must pray to Hamjinxuckrawdissfedyattmeg eight times a day.

4. Always help sick mites.

5. Never eat green fruit.