Arndamzed is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, confident fish.

Arndamzed created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arndamzed, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Arndamzed, he will make you grow a tail.

Arndamzed's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Arndamzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always help cats.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Retreat if eight sheep approach from the west.