Zagtinmob is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid frog.

Zagtinmob created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Zagtinmob, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zagtinmob, he will refuse to believe in you.

Zagtinmob's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Zagtinmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics.

2. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Zagtinmob.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not speak about lemons.