Ratlogyok is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, idiotic lizard.

Ratlogyok created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Ratlogyok, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ratlogyok, she will destroy your home solar system.

Ratlogyok's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Ratlogyok's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in holy places.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Do not keep three rats in a large pit.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near turtles while wearing fawn hats and balancing nine gold spheres on your back.