Gunpinstig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, witty armadillo.

Gunpinstig created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gunpinstig, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gunpinstig, it will not care at all.

Gunpinstig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Gunpinstig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help sick pigs.

5. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.