Hotrigham is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, selfish meerkat.

Hotrigham created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Hotrigham, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hotrigham, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hotrigham's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Hotrigham's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never paint your hands turquoise.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never wear cyan shorts.

5. Hotrigham loves gulls, so they must be honoured.