Lopstaflarg is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, egotistical wolf.

Lopstaflarg created Africa two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lopstaflarg, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lopstaflarg, it will not invite you to parties.

Lopstaflarg's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Lopstaflarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Lopstaflarg on top of all buildings.

3. Hide if three bats approach from the south.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.

5. Always obey Lopstaflarg's priests.