Miphitnill is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever hydra.

Miphitnill created snails two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Miphitnill, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Miphitnill, she will refuse to believe in you.

Miphitnill's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Miphitnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Learn six new languages a year.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near rats while wearing fawn ear rings.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat green fruit.