Flabbuglab Sabsanpod Pagmumban is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient dove.

Flabbuglab Sabsanpod Pagmumban created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flabbuglab Sabsanpod Pagmumban, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Flabbuglab Sabsanpod Pagmumban, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Flabbuglab Sabsanpod Pagmumban's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Flabbuglab Sabsanpod Pagmumban's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from violet ducks, for they are unholy.

2. Never write about archaea.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flabbuglab Sabsanpod Pagmumban.

4. Do not hurt badgers.

5. Do not listen to music.