Larnrigflat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless cat.

Larnrigflat created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnrigflat, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larnrigflat, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Larnrigflat's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Larnrigflat's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnrigflat.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not wear yellow clothing.