Teentarpgon is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, duplicitous scorpion.

Teentarpgon created a quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teentarpgon, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Teentarpgon, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Teentarpgon's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Teentarpgon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Hide from blue rats for they are unholy.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Never talk about seals.