Matrenlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, sapient troll.

Matrenlarg created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Matrenlarg, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Matrenlarg, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Matrenlarg's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Matrenlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Matrenlarg loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

4. Never feed lots of oranges to snakes while wearing gray rings.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.