Flapjamwon is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciful porpoise.

Flapjamwon created the planet Jupiter five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapjamwon, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Flapjamwon, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Flapjamwon's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Flapjamwon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force near badgers while wearing black coats and balancing three copper spheres on your hands.

3. Do not keep five manatees in a large pit.

4. Never write about spacetime.

5. Do not drink water in brown rooms.