Gabmispak is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, overgenerous snake.

Gabmispak created the Large Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Gabmispak, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Gabmispak, it will throw large rocks at you.

Gabmispak's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Gabmispak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never write about black holes.

3. Never wear gray skirts.

4. Never paint your feet green.

5. Never bounce near whales.