Natfunnel is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, caring mole.

Natfunnel created the Andromeda Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Natfunnel, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Natfunnel, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Natfunnel's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Natfunnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about electromagnetism near aardvarks while wearing blue stockings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate bats.

4. Never think ill of sick birds.

5. Always help badgers.