Lagfigsaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-powerful spider.

Lagfigsaf created light five million years ago.

If you believe in Lagfigsaf, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lagfigsaf, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lagfigsaf's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Lagfigsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Lagfigsaf in the centre of the settlement.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never feed beans to tortoises while wearing kilts.

5. Do not hurt gulls.