Wipfotdad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, cheerful seal.

Wipfotdad created tapeworms four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wipfotdad, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Wipfotdad, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Wipfotdad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Wipfotdad's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never hop in holy places.

3. Never write about fluid mechanics.

4. Do not keep eight snails in a large pit.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.