Belltadneg is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, unsympathetic alligator.

Belltadneg created humanity two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Belltadneg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Belltadneg, he will turn you into a slug.

Belltadneg's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Belltadneg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick dogs.

2. Never write about quantum mechanics.

3. Voles are not to be trusted.

4. Never feed limes to snails while wearing gray jumpers.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.