Zigsomortzan is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, confident naga.

Zigsomortzan created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zigsomortzan, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Zigsomortzan, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Zigsomortzan's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Zigsomortzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never feed lots of gooseberries to snails while wearing indigo shorts.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never laugh near eagles.