Bodfidwip Hubsafruttkamtit is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, stupid dolphin.

Bodfidwip Hubsafruttkamtit created energy four years ago.

If you believe in Bodfidwip Hubsafruttkamtit, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Bodfidwip Hubsafruttkamtit, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bodfidwip Hubsafruttkamtit's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bodfidwip Hubsafruttkamtit's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight mites approach from the east.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never hurt manatees.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never talk about asteroids.