Citloplip is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, tiresome donkey.

Citloplip created a top quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citloplip, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Citloplip, it will turn you into a mouse.

Citloplip's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Citloplip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.

2. Feed all hungry tortoises.

3. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Citloplip in the centre of the settlement.

4. Citloplip loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Do not keep nine whales in a large pit.