Rakyiktarhambus is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unselfish spider.

Rakyiktarhambus created the cosmos four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rakyiktarhambus, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Rakyiktarhambus, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Rakyiktarhambus' most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Rakyiktarhambus' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Never hurt badgers.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Do not jump in public.