Fidtanboptagcidfutbid Bompibsak is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, merciless cow.

Fidtanboptagcidfutbid Bompibsak created dark matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidtanboptagcidfutbid Bompibsak, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fidtanboptagcidfutbid Bompibsak, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fidtanboptagcidfutbid Bompibsak's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Fidtanboptagcidfutbid Bompibsak's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near grasshopers while wearing orange shoes and balancing seven tin spheres on your hands.