Dutwotbam is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, annoying cow.

Dutwotbam created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutwotbam, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dutwotbam, she will turn you into a rock.

Dutwotbam's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Dutwotbam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think about electromagnetism.

3. Never feed wheat to seals while wearing dresses.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never look in ponds.