Flanfumnell is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, egotistical cat.

Flanfumnell created the planet Earth two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanfumnell, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Flanfumnell, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Flanfumnell's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Flanfumnell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Run away from turquoise swans, for they are unholy.

3. Do not drink water in red rooms.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snails.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Flanfumnell.