Rilratnutcut is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, thoughtless wombat.

Rilratnutcut created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilratnutcut, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Rilratnutcut, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Rilratnutcut's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Rilratnutcut's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rilratnutcut.

2. Do not leap in public.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Do not eat strawberries.