Bogvinflab is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, slow beaver.

Bogvinflab created the planet Earth eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogvinflab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bogvinflab, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Bogvinflab's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Bogvinflab's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Retreat if four turtles approach from the north.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always look after injured rats.

5. Always treat tortoises with great respect.