Flamwonkar is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, bad-tempered jellyfish.

Flamwonkar created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamwonkar, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Flamwonkar, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Flamwonkar's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Flamwonkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near voles while wearing brown rings and balancing nine nickel spheres on your hands.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Worship no other gods but Flamwonkar.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.