Vagkinjip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing mouse.

Vagkinjip created an up quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Vagkinjip, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Vagkinjip, it will laugh at you.

Vagkinjip's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Vagkinjip's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vagkinjip.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Retreat if five dolphins approach from the south.

5. Always help sharks in need.