Jonjigbabtagyarfunfenhog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unsympathetic troll.

Jonjigbabtagyarfunfenhog created Asia two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jonjigbabtagyarfunfenhog, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jonjigbabtagyarfunfenhog, it will come to you in dreams.

Jonjigbabtagyarfunfenhog's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Jonjigbabtagyarfunfenhog's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jonjigbabtagyarfunfenhog.

5. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.