Hapquampid is a god.

It takes the form of a small, temperamental newt.

Hapquampid created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapquampid, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hapquampid, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Hapquampid's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Hapquampid's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always treat mice with great respect.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hapquampid.

5. Do not covet oxen.